Plain English please

It's probably not apparent since I don't provide a lot of commentary when I post the podcasts, but I definitely have a serious love/hate relationship with music bloggers. The love comes from how they make so much new music readily available to the rest of us idiots on the interwebs. But the hate comes from having to somehow figure out how to sift thru the god-awful prose they sometimes come up with to describe the music. Take the following:

[Redacted] sounds like the golden sun peeking out from behind a darkly clouded sky for a moment. It sounds like standing on the doorstep of greatness only to turn around and walk away without looking back. The music is not sad; it is not joyful. The music is contentedly smiling a half smile like things aren't really as bad as they may seem.

I'm not including the name of the album or the name of the blog where I found it because I like the blog a lot and have gotten a lot of new music from them. But I'm amazed at the large number of music bloggers who write the same way. All kinds of mixed metaphors, agonizing attempts at provoking mental imagery, etc. Just tell me whether or not you like it, what genre it fits into, and give me the names of a couple other bands that they sound like. That'll do.